Sometimes It Is Your Fault
Today I want to share with you a personal story. One that fills me with guilt and other non-pleasant emotions. It’s about accountability and how sometimes it is your fault. I’m not going to lie, this picture of me really bothers me. There is more Tom in this picture than I would like. I am incredibly proud of my growth in the sport of weightlifting over the past few years. However, I am significantly less proud of the growth of myself…in my singlet. After the USAW Nationals this year I knew something needed to change. Recently, I went to the doctor to get some testing done. In the last few years, I have accomplished a ton of things both personally and professionally . One area that I let slip was my health and body composition. I have put on roughly 30-40 pounds. And I was convinced that there was something wrong with me.
I Had Tried Everything
I tried super restrictive diets and abstaining from alcohol. And I incorporated intermittent fasting, RP templates, and more into my lifestyle. For the past 6 months or so I have prepped most of my meals. I’ve worked out consistently and have eaten more mindfully than ever before. But the problem still remained. I continued to gain weight no matter the method.
I was planning on competing at USAW Nationals in the 105kg (231 lb) weight class. About a month out I was still about 8kg over. And I realized that if I did make weight, my performance was going to suffer. At the recommendation of my coach I stayed in the 105+ class. Fortunately, I had the best meet I have ever had. I hit competition PR’s in all my lifts and increased my total by 16kg in the process. And I placed 7th place for the second year straight at nationals.
I also hit another PR – weighing in at over 116kg (255 lbs). The frustrating part for me was that in my normal weight class(105kg ) I would have had the opportunity to finish as high as 2nd if I would have just taken care of what I had to with my diet.
This Was Frustrating
When I got home I was angry. I thought I had done everything I could, but nothing worked. There had to be something wrong with me. I went on WebMD and convinced myself that Hypothyriod was causing my weight gain. It couldn’t possibly be the combination of stress, life changes, lack of sleep, etc.
This couldn’t be my fault. I am a fitness professional and this is my job. There was no way I couldn’t possibly be to blame. So I went ahead and got tested. I have never wanted to have a medical condition so badly in my life. This would vindicate me and alleviate me from any personal responsibility for making it into my weight class. And those feelings of guilt for my less than ideal body composition would go away. This was the reason. It had to be. I was sure of it.
The tests finally came back. And it turns out that I have a perfectly healthy thyroid. My situation was 100% my fault. What the heck am I going to do now?!?
I decided to do what I should have done in the first place. I finally took some responsibility for my situation. The reality is that I need to be more disciplined, eat less, workout more , and recover like a champ. It is time to stop going through the motions and get to work . I’ve spent months feeling sorry for myself, now with my excuses gone, I have no where to look but inside. It’s time to be an example to both my clients and athletes.
One week down and I have lost a few pound and all of my excuses. I’ve got about 10-15kg(22- 33 lbs ) to lose. It wont be fast. It wont be easy, And it wont be fun. But it’s time for me to step up. Time to lead from the font in EVERY aspect of my training and lifestyle.